Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Public Speaking? Heights? Spiders?


My greatest fear - the thing that really puts me over the edge - is anything medical.

Needles, blood, surgery, antiseptic smell, closed in rooms, waiting waiting waiting in closed in rooms, infections, terrible paper gowns, those clear holder thingys for used syringes that you have to stare at as you wait wait wait, posters of diseases and risks of diseases - the whole experience of going to the doctor usually makes me freak out and/or pass out. I despise it.

Which is really ironic because one of my favorite shows of all time was/is Grey's Anatomy - at least until they killed off/kicked out of most of my favorite characters. Maybe I ignored all the medical grossness because it was so well balanced with shirtless McDreamySteamy physicians. Heck, if my doctor looked like that I'd probably feel differently about the whole thing.

So anyway I'm like a total nutcase today in the waiting room - yes my mom had to take me to my doctor's appointment today - and before you start putting on your Judgy McJudgerson pants about a 26 year old having her mom take her to the doctor just know that this was the "Lady Doctor" and you have no right to judge my anxiety until you're in a terrible nursing-home rose colored gown with your feet in some stirrups, mmmkay?

So my mom and I are in the waiting room, I'm half hysterical as I fill out my paperwork, begging her to go in for me because we look so much alike, pleading with her, telling her they'd never know the difference.

Then I get to the question, "Race" on my form.

I kind of pause and look up at her and say, "I think I'm just gonna put 'white' because I'm not sure how to spell 'caucasian' right now" (PS the spell checker totally just underlined that - so clearly I really don't know how to spell it).

So my mom starts trying to spell it for me, which makes me start to laugh because I already wrote 'white' and the more I start thinking about that the more it makes me giggle. I guess it was all my nervous energy.

Then a just a few short questions later it asks for "Ethnicity."

I turn to my mom and go, "What the heck am I supposed to put for that?! I already put 'white'!?!"

And she is laughing so hard she can't talk and squeaks out "American?"

I am a White American, everyone.

I feel a lot like this girl today.

Now I know:
Good thing I'm going back to school, so I can give the US American children maps to show them places like the Iraq and South Africa and everywhere like such as....so we are able to...build up our future...for our children.

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHA! This made me laugh out loud!!! Whew... still wiping my tears of laughter b/c I can totally picture this scenerio!!