Wannabes with Wedgies

You win
It's your show, now
So what's it gonna be
Cause people will tune in
How many train wrecks do we need to see?
Before we lose touch of
We thought this was low It's bad getting worse so
Where'd all the good people go?
I've been changing channels
I don't see them on the TV shows
Where'd all the good people go?
-jack johnson, "where'd all the good people go?"-

Under recent financial pressure (Read: just received a special assessment letter from my HOA letting me know I owe $1,800 towards re-roofing the complex... awesome) I've seriously considered cutting my cable.

As I sit here waiting (im)patiently for the new episode of Grey's Anatomy to come on, I am getting more serious about actually making that decision. Because here I sit, watching the show "Wipeout" on mute. Have you ever seen this ridiculous, pitiful display of asinine stupidity?

Who actually watches this?!

More importantly, why am I watching this?!?!?!

In case you're wondering, this particular episode of "Wipeout" has a winter theme and features a moving obstacle course that looks like a combination of a the old school TV show "Gladiator" and SantaLand.

The nincompoops that sign up to go on the show this fall off huge primary covered blocks into water that looks like it has fake snow all over it. Not only do they get hit in the head with swinging barrels that look like candy canes, knocked in the ribs with twirling poles decorated like icicles, and bopped with punching bags of various sizes and shapes - their pathetic trips, flips, and spills are shown OVER and OVER again in slo-mo and instant replay.


The producers especially love to zoom in on contestants' wedgies and falling-down pants.

This show isn't just bad. It's unwatchable. It's worse than America's Funniest Home Videos and The Jerry Springer Show combined. Kind of similar to both of these shows, actually. Trying to be funny, but failing miserably. I don't know how you get worse than Bob Saget, but congratulations "Wipeout," that's the one award you'll get from me tonight.

I don't understand why people think it's funny, and I certainly don't get why this train-wreck of a mess has a primetime spot right before Grey's Anatomy - a much more sophisticated, intense drama for the intellectual elite of our country (riiiiight). But I mean, I understand why Grey's would be a guilty pleasure. It has McDreamy, McSteamy doctors in it, unbelievable drama, and witty one-liners. What is so appealing about people getting concussions and wedgies?

Now I know:
I could do a lot of fun things with $60 extra dollars a month.